The invigilator is tall and dark with a post office worker’s moustache. His face is expressionless, bored. He calls for silence by banging on the table with a ruler. I hear the odd nervous cough echoing from candidate to candidate. I am ramrod still as the question paper floats above my desk. I have no idea what the subject is as I grab it from the air. I turn it over to discover – Science! I stare in disbelief – I know I didn’t attend one lecture let alone sign up for the test!
I see my fellow students heads bent, busily dashing down their knowledge onto their answer sheets.
I try to pick up my pencil but it’s too heavy – I can’t seem to lift it. It’s as if a magnet is holding it to the desk when suddenly it comes away but then becomes bendy and rubbery. It has an impish face, which looks at it me – it’s long lashes blinking.
“Why don’t you grab me?”
“I’ve tried – you just slip through my fingers”
“Oh for goodness sake, who has the thumb here?”
“Well you keep bending, you rubbery escaper of work!”
“Blame the tool as much as you please. It’s you who has to take control.”
“Anyway – even if I get you – I won’t know what to write.”
“Just grab and hold on tightly. I’ll do the rest. Trust me!”’
The bored invigilator clears his throat and glares warningly in my direction. The genius scientists scribble on.
I grab the pencil tightly. My hand takes on a life of its own. I barely read the questions as it flies across the page and words whose meanings I do not comprehend appear eloquently upon the page. I hear a giggle of delight from my magic pencil. A bell rings – time is up. I sit up with a jerk. It’s my alarm clock!
Diary of an Adventurous Retiree 